My name is Antonia and I’ve been a parishioner at St. Charles since my Confirmation in 2017. The last time I wrote here, I shared how the parish community helped raise me Catholic. Let me edit that last phrase: how the parish community is helping raise me Catholic. The formation process, I’ve discovered, is ongoing for all of us. For people who like to know what’s what (and you know who you are!!), it’s a bit of a challenge sometimes to accept the Mystery that is at the heart of our faith. Yet there’s a profound beauty and comfort in that, too, because it is through the Sacraments, Mass, Scripture, and Prayer that our Trinitarian God reveals Himself to us slowly, lovingly, surprisingly, if only partially. It’s an ever-evolving relationship. And when it comes right down to it, isn’t that true of all intimate relationships?

Anyone who’s in or has been in a long-term relationship, however, knows that you can fall into a rut or a period of stagnation. One solution is to go on vacation or do something together you haven’t done before; basically, becoming vulnerable and open. A silent, spiritual retreat with God, I’ve found, is similar. It’s an opportunity to step away from all that you’re attached to, including your attachment to yourself, so you can hear His knock and open the door to Him. Your spiritual director will help you invite Him in and encourage you to let Him restore the interior of your house. Like all renovations, though, it’s intense, messy, and filled with unanticipated challenges and delays—caused by your not fully retreating and allowing Him to renew you. It’s not easy surrendering—from holding on to be being held, from giving to receiving. At least that was my experience last month when I went to St. Edmund’s Retreat House on Enders Island. It’s a slow process, this letting-go, but every step of the way you begin to see everything as a gift, as a form of great love: